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BAKET GANITO!!! AYOKO NG GANITONG FEELING!!!! WOOOOOOH!
GUSTO KONG UMIYAK!!! IM SO SENSITIVE! I FEEL LIKE TRASH!!!!! AYOKONG MAG BLOG PERO ETO LANG ANG OUTLET KO. WOOOOOOOOOO!

antagal ko nang gustong magblog about this pero ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng time.

This is about a friend. along time friend. who passed away.

Camille andaya mo. bakit napaka sudden. the week before, pinahihiram mo pa ko ng P.E Soccer uniform ah. Asan na?.............

Random Memories

Camille is my classmate since grade 1, we are not that close to each other until grade 6, because of tessa..I got jealous of her because manuel(my first crush) had a crush on her. hehe..kahit nung mga 4th year kami kasi manuel still flirts with he(i think) hehe..

Camille is the person who "mulat" to me to the "green" world. hehe.. don't get me wrong ah... alam nyo nman si Camille. naaalala ko my binabasa kaming adult mag. Then I asked her this simple question "Ano yung ______________?" pabulong ko pa tinanong yun ah. then she laughed hard and told me "Di pa pwede sau yun, inosente ka pa!" then yun hanggang sa kinulit ko sha ng kinulit kasi sha lang naman ang kaya kong pagtanungan ng mga bagay na yun. tapos yun, naawa, sinabi na rin nya sa akin.

CAmille is also one of my confidante about my "impossible yet successful lovelife" along with Tessa and Barbie. Naaalala ko, pag may break, gumigitna ako sa kanila, then they start to bombard me with questions like.."ano kamusta na kau ni ken?" "kelan pa kayo magkikita?" "NAkita mo na ba mga bagong pictures nila JAy-ar?" those were the days.....

Camille served as my teacher pagdating sa love. di sha naghehesitate na bigyan ako ng advice whenever I seek one. Kahit karamihan sa mga iyon ay di ko sinusunod.hehe

She is my kasabay pa twing uuwi kami, kaming 3 nila almira.. Na onse ko ba sya sa pamasahe? Siguro konti lang kasi halos laging sakto ang pamasahe nya (6 pesos) i think hehe.. so mahirap gulangan, wais din eh. hehe.. along the way, halos puro boys lang ag topic namin...mga lalakero talga...

Last but not the least, yung one time na nagalit sha sa akin dahil lagi ko shang vineviseo na sumisinga... as in ngalit talaga. siguro mga 3 araw akong nagsosorry sa kanya.

Camille is very responsible, naalala ko yung project nila about mayana leaves.. hehe sha yung pinka involved at di namin malilimutan ni emma yung itsura nya na nagagalit sa mga kagroupmates nya... scary as in nakakunot ang noo. pero kayang kaya ni emman na pangitiin sha..

Those were just some of the memories that I will never forget about her.

Indeed sa kanyang pagkawala... malaki rin ang kawalan natin. nawalan kami ng isang mabuting kaibigan. isang maaalalahanin na kaibigan.

Camille, asan ka naman ngayon, you touched everone of us. we thank you for bringing JOY in our lives. sayang nga lang at di namain mashado naipakita saiyo na mahalaga at mahal ka namin. you will be in our prayers. Im sure you are happy there.... You will still continue to bring us happiness with the memories you have given us. we love you.

i love my family.

i am so thankful to God for giving me my family. without them im nothing and probably im shattered into pieces right now. I am foolish that i always give my ex-boyfriend the credit as the source of my strength when all this time its my family whom I always turn to. Thank you mama, for always being there for us, for always boosting my confidence and for the sacrifices she is giving for the sake of this family. Thank you papa for working very hard just to provide us what we need, for your emotional suuport whenever we are down and giving up some things for the better. We are so lucky that we have parents like you to lean on. We may have a hard time showing our affection to you guys, but we can say that we love you very much. To my brother, I know I have shortcomings to you, but I am doing my best to make up. Pagpasenshahan mo na ko kung minsan napakaselfish ko. I love you SB. I just want some gaps to be filled in, you know, the usual gap between father and son. I still believe that sometime, somehow, maayos na ang lahat.

God, thank you talaga.

ok. after months of almost sleepless nights.sa wakas i got the grades.

yes, i am so disappointed. i dont know kung sa sarili ko ba ako ma didisappoint or sa ibang bagay eh. I did EVERYTHING I CAN. yes, sobrang this sem ako ngaral ng AS IN review. pero bakit ganun.......

to top it all disappointed pa ata nanay ko. she kept on saying na.. "ok loang yan, basta ginawa mo yung kaya mo, at ok na basta pumasa" pero i can sense na disappointed sha eh. eto pa, she kept on comparing me and my frends from highschool, ansakit njun diba? im not them. I AM NOT THEM. di ako kasing talino nila. kaya ako naprepressure dahil sa COMPARISON feeling ko ang babababa ko. alam mo yun....nung gradeschool at highschool consistent top 15, no line of 8's, tapos ngayon laging line of 8. sobrang sad na nga ako at awng awa na rin ako sa sarili ko. IPUPUSH pa nila na napagiiwanan ako sa mga HS friends ko. oh diba. PRESSURE.

halos di ko na nga alam kung paano ko pagkakashahin ang oras ko eh. tapo ganito pa... i dont know what to do next.

i guess i would just have to study more. kahit sobrang sagad na. para masatisfy expectations nila sa akin.

GOD help me.